I have decided to pout all day today. The grumpy-stick-my-lip-out kind of pout. I may include a nose wrinkle if not enough people ask me what's wrong. And you all need to know that I have huge puppy dog brown eyes. Not the scary round kind of big eyes. Mine are still a bit almond shaped even though they've built a house, put up a white picket fence, and bought a dog on half my face. Point being that I'm going to put my lip out, wrinkle my nose and make people feel sorry for me all day.
I'm also about to go to the liquor store and buy a LOT of alcohol. Don't worry, I'm going to stick to beer (mostly) before my shift tomorrow but this server is definitely going in at least a sheet and a half to the wind.
Tonight, I am going to drink at least a bottle of wine and possibly some whiskey. This will turn my pouty face into a "MmI Haf Tsoh Wrofk Thanshkgifing.....mmmmThpppp!" Insert more sad face. Okay, by now it will be more of a grumpy 'I'm really drunk' kind of face. Also, insert multiple deep sighs to make sure everyone around me is paying attention.
I will wake up tomorrow and drink a red beer to make myself feel better. For those of you who don't know, that is simply beer with tomato juice. It's delicious. Try one. Then I will tally how many beers I am able to down before my shift starts. Then I will stumble my ass into Shmupplebees. Then I will glare at people for approximately four to five hours.
After that is said and done I am going to come home, drink the second bottle of wine that I have purchased for my holiday occasion, and then make shots that include the whiskey. I will then slightly slur SHOTS! to everyone around me (most likely my boyfriend and his roommate) until people join in on the holiday cheer. I will then pour more shots and pout until someone takes them with me. Rinse, repeat. Rinse, repeat.
I am going to be blackout drunk by this point so I have no more information for you. End of post.
Happy Thanksgiving!
(And for all of you reading this, I really do hope that you have a great holiday. Be merry, drink wine, and make a cheers to Kara Hoag!)
