Frustrated In Kansas

Tonight I picked up a shift at Shmupplebees. Ten months ago I had them stop scheduling me so that I would be available anytime I was needed at the Mental Health Center, where I had just started working as an attendant care worker. I pick up serving shifts when I am available, which usually consists of me walking in between five and six and asking if anyone wants the night off, or me covering for someone that has too much homework or is sick. Because I haven’t been there as much, and I don’t solely need Shmupplebees to live off of, I was actually starting to enjoy my job there again. I remembered that I do like serving. Days are rarely like the last. I get to meet new people every night. They tell me where they have been in life and bring something fresh and new with them when they come into my section. They give me ideas for blog posts which have been severely lacking since even before I started as an AC worker (sorry..).  But tonight I received a reminder why I do not want to work in a restaurant for the rest of my life. The employees; or, for this purpose, the management.

Working at the Mental Health Center, I have found something that I had lost a long time ago. Pride in my work and a hunger to do my job well. I even tried to bring this mentality to Shmupplebees but tonight I was sorely disappointed to find out that I am not as invested as other employees to do my job correctly since I am not scheduled. At least this is what I was told (by someone other that the person who said it) tonight.

It began when I asked the manager on duty if she thought that my closing duties were less than what they needed to be. I had a bad close a few weeks ago, in which everything was fixed before I left, and have been punished, so to speak, for it ever since. The manager that was working the night of the bad close told Smichelle that I could close for her, but if I did a bad job then Shmishelle, not me, would not be allowed to close again. Come to find out, it was not because I had been performing poorly consistently, it was because I wasn't as ‘invested’ in doing a good job. The manager working tonight said that my job performance was excellent, by the way.

Shmichelle, the manager, and I were talking in the office after the restaurant was cleaned up this evening, and that is where I found this information out. I was also told by the manager that I had the most guest complaints than any other server that worked there. The manager said that she had never seen a complaint on me, and I have never been told of any at all by any of the managers.

None of this should bother me. It’s just Shmupplebees and I don’t want to rely on it to survive anymore. I’m just upset that I am hearing these things through other people. Wouldn't it be easier to talk to me directly so that the problem can be fixed? Unfortunately the people in charge of running the restaurant can’t simply sit down with the person and talk to them about how to fix the problems that are occurring, so that the employees creating said problems can do better at their job performance. It would make sense to, but why deal with confrontation when you can just sit in a manager’s meeting and never do anything to actually solve issues.

It does bother me, though. It makes me feel bad about myself. I have no proof that I have the most customer complaints, but in my mind tonight there is a plethora of people out there hating my guts for ruining their dining experience, and that doesn’t make me feel great about myself.

I will probably have let it go by the morning, but for tonight I remain frustrated in Kansas.