Say Hello To Me!

Do you have unanswered life questions? Maybe you just want to say hello to me. Well, you're welcome to e-mail me at If nothing else it just makes me happy.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Times are Getting a Little Crazy...

Warning: This post is for girls only. If you read this and you are not a girl, it's now not my fault.

I would like to discuss the terrible terrible affliction known as PMS. As you can guess I am currently dealing with said affliction and am trying my hardest not to punch everyone I see square in the nose for looking at me the wrong way...which tends to be just a glance in my direction at the moment. I moved in with a new roommate a couple months ago who is also female. She happens to be on the birth control pill so my body is doing all of the wonderful female hormonal syncing. 

Now, as all of you girls know, there are some changes in personality that are not very appealing to those around you during the week or two before Mother Nature's curse gift. I would like to go through the most current situation that was affected by my hormonal surge.

1. I keep telling people to stop yelling at me even though they are not saying mean things and their voices haven't raised.

2. I threw a roll of packing tape at my door (I was aiming through the door at my roommate but I have really bad aim) because my roommate was "yelling" at me.

3. I became extrememly sad because, not only did I not hit my roommate, I broke my roll of tape when it hit my door; which was wide open.

4. I realized that I didn't even need the packing tape because I'm not moving again for at least another ten months and rolls of packing tape cost a couple bucks each. I then became extrememly irritated at myself for becoming sad about the stupid tape.

5. Realized how lucky I am that my roommate also works with me and went in first today, because she texted me and told me I could stay home and my managers said I didn't have to come in for my shift.

I'm not sure what she told them; probably something along the lines of. "If you have her come in she'll probably kill one of the customers and you'll have a lawsuit on your hands." That's what I would have told them anyway if she hadn't done my dirty work for me. Oh well, as long as PMS doesn't ruin my badass Mario skills I think I will somehow survive the next week.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

GOD Bless America?

I have been looking into the debate going on about the mosque (or more informatively; Community Center) that is to be erected roughly two blocks away from ground zero. To be fair, I'll start with the news debates first. Both sides have fairly good arguments, but both sides are skewing the facts so that they sound one hundred percent right. This is normal in these situations. What I found entertaining was a news segment where they had a mother of a woman who died on 9/11 (for the Community Center) vs. the opinions of a man of Islamic heritage (against the Community Center). Wow. With all of the Americans arguing this point how could they ever have found two people like this to show on the news?! I am astounded and now I just don't know even more how to make up my own mind on this subject!! Come on. There are plenty of victims' families who don't see this as a threat to our nation or a degradation to their deceased loved ones just as there are plenty of people from Islamic background who see this as being unfair to those who still suffer hurt from the falling of the Twin Towers.

On a facebook thread I read there were a few comments that caught my attention. Some were ridiculous, some I agreed with, and some just pissed me off. Here are my comments on a few of them.

(This is the status to start with)
I am well aware how liberal I am and how a lot of people differ from me (family included) and that's fine. That being said, one thing I cannot handle is the radical Islam debate going on right now. Someone just emailed me an article saying we should force all moderate Muslims and imams to sign a declaration of their be...liefs of nonviolence and all this other stuff and hang it on the walls of their Mosque.

Comment: dont like the political bs.. but I love your pics.

Whats your schedule like and rate for a family session>?

Okay, obviously all this says is, "I don't actually have an opinion but I wanted to sound smart anyway and ended up looking like a complete idiot in the process."

Comment: yeah i was reading the newspaper yesterday and there was an article about a non-issue blown out of proportion where someone wants to build a mosque in new york. the racist christian Right is all pissed because obama basically said "this is ...america, people can build their worship centers for any religion wherever zoning regulations allow" so they of course say he's a muslim sympathizer, hates white people and christians are always under attack bla bla bla... boo hoo. fuckin cry babies. i'm more libertarian or something but the mainstream Right just pisses me off they are so simple minded and hateful

Okay, kind of agree, but to be fair that's not all Obama said. He also said something along the lines of 'the feelings of those who still have to suffer the grief of 9/11 should be taken into consideration but according to the first amendment they have every right to build near this site.' (side note, this is just my loose paraphrase)

Comment: There are always going to be fringe opinions...

Um, yes there will....

Comment: signing a piece of paper won't do anything anyway. its just mass appeasement. little stupid formalities to make scared sheep feel better. if you're so messed up that you would strap bombs to your chest to kill yourself and innocent people, i don't think you would have second thoughts about signing some BS declaration.

Whoa. We're not talking about the Taliban sir, or P.O.S. as I like to call you. These are American citizens who are trying to exercise their right to freedom of religion. And again, it's a Community Center not a Mosque if anyone is still confused.

Comment: Everyone who argues we should limit the rights of Muslims instantly shows an allegiance to an authoritarian impulse that is more in line with the thinking in the authoritarian Islamic societies these folks purport to be against than with th...e spirit of freedom we are supposed to be enjoying in America.

Not that we've ever lived up to the ideal of freedom in this country, but it is still pretty sick to see and realize how large this authoritarian impulse is here.

A bit Extreme, but also funny in an ironic-it's-kinda-true sorta way.

There were many, many more comments on this status that go along the same lines as well as different ones. These generally just show me the ignorance of the general population when it comes to having opinions about matters such as these. Roughly under seventy percent of the population is supposed to be against the building of this Community Center (repeat it after me one more time; Community Center). Who are these people and how much research have they done on the subject? How the hell did they even get these statistics. Okay, I took a stats course and I know how they got the statistics but these can be easily skewed in the direction that is desired.

I say no matter what the opinion, the Constitution stands. This group of people have a legal right to build a Community Center on their own property just as all of those uneducated morons out there have a right to have an opinion on it.

P.S: Did you see what I did with the choosing of the comments I talked about? Yep, skewed in the favor of my opinion to make people disagreeing with me seem like bigoted idiots.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Thirty Flirty and...Oh Wait, You're Just Insecure About Turning Forty

I feel like I've mentioned this, but I don't feel like actually checking so I will state it again; I work in a restaurant as a server. This is important because it gives me a broader vicinity in which to interact with people, and therefore more opportunity to make fun of them. Tonight I served a gentleman and his young son. This is roughly how part of the conversation went.

Me: "Here's your drinks, do you know what you want to order?"
Thirty to forty year old man: "We'd just like to sit for awhile. My twin boys are evil and I finally got rid of one of them so I'd like to sit here and drink an abundance of beer while pretending to take care of my son."
Me: "Alright sir, well take your time deciding because I definitely have nothing better to do."

After awhile I went back and the kid ordered a corndog. In the process of getting the corndog choice out of the child I had to deal with more conversation.

Me: "Have you finally decided because I would like to buy beer while I still can."
Thirty to forty year old man to son: "Is this the one you thought was cute?"
Son: "I like to pretend that I like girls more than I do at my young age so that my father who neglects me unless I'm forced upon him by his ex-wife/my mother will think I'm worth paying attention to."
Me: "He's just insecure about the fact that he's going to be forty soon and doesn't really love you. Sorry kid, I hate your dad and he's just using you to hit on a mid-twenties waitress who he probably thinks is in her very early twenties because he has no concept of age due to the large amount of beer he has drank tonight."
Son: "I hate my life."
Me: "Me too. It'll get better once you're old enough to drink beer."
Son: "I'll have a corndog and my father is going to take years off of your life due to the immense amount of time it will take him to decide what he wants when in actuality he's just going to order a sandwich togo and waste your time."

Indeed, after drinking more beers than I was legally allowed to give him (and did anyway because I really do not care) the man orders a reuben togo. They were in there for over an hour during which time I had to go up to them randomly, pretend to care what he was saying, and pretend to like his kid. Their bill came to a little under twenty-seven dollars. He hands me twenty-eight and tells me he does not need any change. I put up with a lot of assholes at my job but that is because I'm a personality whore and I love money. So to you thirty-to-forty-year-old-man, I say this...

You are almost forty. Your child is not half bad but you talk about how terrible he is in front of him to make your crappy existence feel better by making someone feel bad about themselves. You are teaching him to treat women very poorly and using him to try and seduce young servers into thinking that you are charming. This means you sneakily sexually harass women through your son and he will probably learn the same disgusting habits that you have. This also means that unless he turns out good looking he will never get laid on a regular basis. After all this you left me a dollar because god forbid I wouldn't flirt back with you. This is because you are almost forty and you treat your son like crap. I am in my mid-twenties and I have no children so I am not interested in you, your dollar or your son. Also, you're almost forty; sorry about your luck on that one.