Your Mom's On Facebook

I was talking with my mom about my cousin who posts inappropriate statuses on facebook. Now, they wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that she is "friends" with several of our family members on the site. It got me thinking about the statuses that I put up, and what kinds of things would upset me if they were posted on my wall. I too, by the way, am friends with quite a few family members including my mom on facebook. Also, as a side note, she posted statuses like "f*** you! f*** you! f*** you! f*** you!" and things along the lines of "I love marijuana".

Now my family is fairly liberal, but there are still some lines that shouldn't be crossed and some censorship that should be taken into consideration. I decided to come up with a few statuses and posts that I would not appreciate making their way onto my page.


Hey, is it cool if I get that sack from you by tomorrow?

Today is 'national screw your boyfriend in a park day' Mom, I hope you're proud of what's become of your daughter!

I hope you didn't mean to run that kid on the bike over. Don't worry, I won't tell the cops!

You only shoplifted one bottle of tequila from the store?! That is so not going to last the entire night.

Hey Kara, I hope you used a condom on 'national screw your boyfriend in a park day'. We don't need any little munchkins running around.

So is a UTI a symptom of herpes? Or is it just chlamydia?

So be careful, all of you facebookers out there. God is watching you. I mean your mom is watching you.