This is not because I'm feeling super lazy today. I just thought you all would like to enjoy something I've already written. I'm really thinking of you.
Now enjoy this repost.
When In Rome, Find Out What They Don't Want You To Do So You Can Annoy Them
Everyone knows that sudden urge to rebel when someone tells you not to do something. Personally, I get a very strong urge to push a person's face into the dirt when they tell me to do (or not do) something. I think it's called problems with authority. Just ask Shmony and Shmjason.
What it you knew of magical laws across the United States that are just asking to be broken?
Never fear, bloggers, never fear. I can help you.
To read a much larger list of stupid laws, click here. For now, I have compiled a bit of an appetizer for you before heading out into the webs of inter to check it out for yourself.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle
Do they charge extra for over sized anim vehicles? And if it's a baby elephant can it be parked like a motorcycle?
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
If you don't die on the first attempt do they just take you back up to the top and push you off again?
Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
Can they be served separately and consumed at the same time? Do you have to finish your beer before being allowed to eat a pretzel? Can you share your neighbor's pretzels? Ah, this is too complicated. We'll just serve peanuts.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
Next time you fuck with someone after they've passed out drunk with their shoes on in North Dakota, you can inform them that it was your civil duty to do so.
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
Dear City Bank, I will be robbing you at approximately three p.m. on the third of May. My reason is that I am tired of not being able to pay my mortgage due to the large amounts of cocaine I have to purchase to feed my habit, and I just thought that since you have so much cash on hand it wouldn't be a big deal. You will know me by the black mask with eyeholes that I will be wearing, and the orange daisy which will be pinned to my black sweatshirt.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
Did they ban the internet too? Because I'm pretty sure that there are plenty of webpages that tell you how to make beer.
And my favorite.....
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church
Are you kidding? How else are you supposed to enjoy church. Have you ever sat through a sermon? Much more enjoyable when wearing a fake mustache that is causing seven year old next to you to burst into fits of loud, inappropriate giggles.