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Monday, March 7, 2011

Dear Hell: You Can Have Your Cold Back

Last week the devil visited me. He handed me a snotty tissue and said, "HA!" Immediately afterwards I began sneezing and coughing up bits of my lung all over the place.

Due to that I haven't posted in awhile.

I have, however, dragged my groggy hacking ass to work. Hey, I need to pay for my booze somehow, right?

Me: Hello, sir. *cough* *cough* *flem* *cough* May I start you out with a Beer or Pepsi?

Man: I would just like a water please.

Me: *achoo* Sorry about that. Could I please have my left lung back. I think I blew it behind your wife's chair.

Man: Yes, here you go. Could I please have a lemon in that water?

Me: Sure thing.

Don't worry. I used tongs to put the lemons in the glasses. Mostly...


  1. Being sick sucks, that is for sure.

  2. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like shit this week. Misery loving company and all that.

  3. i feel great...kinda...

    the shit is going around... nyquil and chix soup!

    oh and avoiding the rest to the world...

    fucking sick fuckers...

  4. Keep your lungs. I'll take your shift for you, Kara. But I AM NOT slicing up lemons for water. Fuck that.


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