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Do you have unanswered life questions? Maybe you just want to say hello to me. Well, you're welcome to e-mail me at karahoag@yahoo.com. If nothing else it just makes me happy.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Dear Hell: You Can Have Your Cold Back

Last week the devil visited me. He handed me a snotty tissue and said, "HA!" Immediately afterwards I began sneezing and coughing up bits of my lung all over the place.

Due to that I haven't posted in awhile.

I have, however, dragged my groggy hacking ass to work. Hey, I need to pay for my booze somehow, right?

Me: Hello, sir. *cough* *cough* *flem* *cough* May I start you out with a Beer or Pepsi?

Man: I would just like a water please.

Me: *achoo* Sorry about that. Could I please have my left lung back. I think I blew it behind your wife's chair.

Man: Yes, here you go. Could I please have a lemon in that water?

Me: Sure thing.

Don't worry. I used tongs to put the lemons in the glasses. Mostly...

4 comments:

  1. Being sick sucks, that is for sure.

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  2. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like shit this week. Misery loving company and all that.

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  3. i feel great...kinda...

    the shit is going around... nyquil and chix soup!

    oh and avoiding the rest to the world...

    fucking sick fuckers...

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  4. Keep your lungs. I'll take your shift for you, Kara. But I AM NOT slicing up lemons for water. Fuck that.

    ReplyDelete

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