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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Ducks Should Be Wary Of Wind

I looked at news online today for inspiration. I found a story about ten things that lets you know that you have the perfect guy who will love you forever and ever and ever and ever. I was going to read it and tear it apart on my blog, but I got bored and didn't make it past five. I'm surprised I even got that far.

Other news is that a dog and a deer are best pals, and some ducks were tossed around by a strong wind. Is that even newsworthy? Aren't ducks kinda made to deal with wind? They fly and migrate and all that, so you'd think that it wouldn't be a big deal. I mean, it's cool. Lets not waste our time writing news stories about the deficit, poverty, the lack of understanding of AIDS in third world countries or the quality of food that is served at Long John Silvers. Lets talk about the problems that ducks are having with the wind.

Hey, speaking of Long John Silvers, I was brave today and ate it for lunch. I haven't been there in awhile, mainly because no one will go with me very often. This is mostly because it is Long John Silvers (or LJS as I am going to be referring to it from now on. It's getting hard to type out every time) and not because I don't know how to use a shower or toothbrush.

I ordered some fried shrimp meal with a side of fried mozz sticks (their fries suck. Don't eat the fries) and fried hush puppies. Oh, and those fried things that are found on the bottom of the frier which they scoop up and put in the fried box.

While I was standing with my boyfriend waiting for my order, I heard the lady working the counter telling her co-worker why they were out of whatever item. Apparently the FDA chose their shipment for no apparent reason and it was stuck in Heston. They had to wait for it to be released before the shipment would reach the store.

First of all, Heston is a shit-town. I don't want to eat anything that's gone through Heston. I didn't even know it had a LJS. I though all it had was a Sonic and a Pizza Hut.

Second of all, what the fuck?! You don't know why they stopped your shipment? Maybe it's because they saw the LJS on the side of the truck and knew that it wouldn't pass the standard so it was a safe bet to check out.

At least this shipment made it through, right?

At least that's what I told myself while I stuffed my face with fried goodness and a side of cocktail sauce.

Now what are we going to do about those poor ducks?


  1. Never had anything at LJS and don't plan on because that food looks disgusting. Now I think that we need to put rockets on ducks so when they get tired of fighting the wind, they can just propel to where they want to go! Problem solved.

  2. great post and fucking hillarious!!! LJS..have not been there in along time....there are only two in our town compared to the fifty bazillion crapplebees and other shitty chains..i digress..

    were you talking about the video of the family of ducks getting blown around?
    bruce johnson jadip
    Evil Bruce
    stupid stuff i see and hear

  3. the captcha was ducturg...pretty close to duck turd...

  4. Haha. you said crapplebees...

    And ducks should go to rockets. It is an industrialized age so it's just time for them.

    Oh, and yes, I was talking about that video.

  5. hehehehe

    i just giggle all over the place.


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