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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Get The Bug Out Of Your Ass

Oh landlords.

Can't live with them and I've just found a way to live without mine.

He is letting us out of the lease pretty much because we are annoying him.

Now before you say, 'But Kara, we know how much you love to annoy people,' just listen to my side of the story.

I moved into this apartment in the middle of last summer. I had to take care of the rent by myself for a month and a half because my roommate was still binded to another lease and they wouldn't hold the apartment (after many of the ones we looked at we thought it was worth it). After a bit we started to notice the real dominant species of the earth sharing out home with us.


Yeah I hear ya, ew.

They sprayed once and bombed our apartment three or four times. I can't even remember. I'm sure Shmishelle will correct me in the comments section. Every time they bombed the apartment we had to bag up everything. Then we had to unpack it. After cleaning the pesticide off of everything. I feel like I have moved into this apartment more times than I have moved in my life. And I grew up a missionary kid so that's saying a lot.

After Shmishelle sent him a text the other night (when we saw another roach), he responded that we could move out but we had to tell him by that day and be out by the thirty-first of January. She told him we would tell him on wednesday not realizing that it was only one day away. We now have until friday to tell him, and will be spending all of our spare time making sure that we won't be homeless if this decision is made.


I feel like he is letting us out of our lease because we are complaining too much.

Oh, I'm so sorry that I'm trying to take care of YOUR property and make it pest free.

Sure didn't mean to be a burden. I guess I was wrong to assume that, as a landlord and property owner, you would want to make sure that there weren't bugs.

Consider this my formal apology.



  1. roaches suck.

    your landlord is a douche-canoe.

    this post made me laugh.

    but not at you.

    just your situation.

    it sucks...

    but stupid stuff is always funnier when it happens to other people...

    bruce johnson jadip
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    Bruce’s guy book
    the guy book

  2. Not even sure which is the lesser of two evils: roaches or homelessness. Maybe there would be fewer roaches in the shelters. I think they frown on having homeless people complain about the sleeping conditions....sorry, not being very helpful, am I? :(

  3. Sorry you had to deal with that. A couple of summers ago we had to do the same because we got our house tented for termites. 8 hours to bag, 2 to put back...

  4. It is I, Smichelle the room-mate. I feel as though Kara didn't give the situation as much......seriousness as I want her to. Sorry Kara, I'm just FUCKING LIVID about this situation. I know you are too but more expression of that is necessary so now I take the liberty to speak for us both.

    First of all, they lied to us and tried to convince us that we brought the bugs in from our job. Then after the 2nd bombing and before the 3rd, this sleezeball has the audacity to tell me that this was an EXISITING PROBLEM. That's right, they already knew there were roaches before we moved in. So during all the sprayings (of which there were 3 professional and 1 regular maintenance) the landlord, let's call him The Dick Headed Salesman, DHS for short, gave me the number to the Great Exterminator (sarcasm included).

    The Great Exterminator (GE) guaranteed each and every spraying and the bugs came back each and every time. When I asked him about this he told me that DHS refused to spray the entire building because it costs too much even though the GE, who is a professional exterminator, told the DHS that is the only way the chemicals would be effective.

    This happened three times.
    Every time we had to spend about 8 hours bagging all our shit up so it wouldn't get chemical on it, moving my cat(s) to my boyfriend's, and waiting a day to go back to unpack everything and wait 50 more days to do it again.

    Now the DHS is tired of listening to me conplain about it so he says we can get out of our lease early. He's just going to put someone else through the same shit. What a fuck stick.

    I just wanted to bitch about the DHS to the open air so everyone knows that he truly is a penis.

    Oh and the cat(s) that I have to keep moving out for a week at a time cost me extra money to live here. Thanks ASSWIPE.

    Thanks for listening, or reading. Either way, FUCK THE DHS!!!

    I hope he gets cockroaches. In fact, I would infest his house with them if I knew how to do it.

  5. Get a bunch of people he doesn't know to walk by him in the street and whisper "slumlord" between coughing. After a few years of this the voices in his head will start doing the work for you, until one day he's found hanging from the kitchen celing by his neck.

    Too much?


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