Farewell, Regis, Farewell

Who doesn't like Regis and Kathy...I mean Regis and Kelly? Sorry, I momentarily forgot that Kathy was pushed out...um...retired to make way for younger, prettier Kelly Rippa.

Well for those of you who love the show I have some bad news. Regis is finito. He announced that he is retiring after twenty-eight years on the show.

I'm not heart-broken. I'm sorry if you are, but I'm not. I don't watch this show. I find Regis's voice annoying and his personality a little too over the top for my taste. BUT, if you are one of those five viewers millions of viewers that the show has left, you can read all about it here. If you don't feel like going to the article, I'll make fun of  quote some of it for you.

"I don't want to alarm anybody," he (Regis) began, then said, "This will be my last year on the show."

Hold the phone! Stop the world! You didn't even warn me to sit down first! You don't want to alarm us? You just ruined my world, Regis, like that time that you tricked me into giving the wrong answer and losing out on a million dollars! Why, Regis, WHY?!?!?!

"I wish I could do something to make you change your mind," said Ripa.


"Now waaait a minute," Philbin said slyly.

The article doesn't expand on this. Is he wanting something else? More money? More fame? Come on ABC! Give in to his demands!
Or is 'waaaaaaaiiitt a minute' code for, I'm sorry Kathy that I had them push you out for someone with higher boobs, now I know how it feels.

Philbin clicked with daytime audiences as a common man who loved to sound off about familiar frustrations, even as he lived a life rubbing elbows with fellow celebrities.

Golly gee, just a common man rubbing elbows with the elite celebrities of the world. How nice. I hope you never wash those elbow patches again.


Maybe I'm wrong about him being forced to retire.  I mean he is about a hundred and eight years old. I'm sure it's hard for him to drag his bag of bones to work every day.

I personally don't know what I am going to do everyday at....eleven o'clock?....when the show is on. Please, ABC Regis, this CAN'T be your final answer!