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Do you have unanswered life questions? Maybe you just want to say hello to me. Well, you're welcome to e-mail me at If nothing else it just makes me happy.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Free Money? Hell Yeah!

Does anyone else get these e-mails?

Dear friend,This message might meet you in utmost surprise. However, it's just the urgent need for a foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction. I am Mr Buru Onya from Burkina Faso in west Africa. I got your e-mail contacts from website after my extensive search for capable person. I prayed and meditated fervently over it and i committed it into the hands of almighty that you should be the rightful person to help out before I made up my mind to contact you today.

I have the opportunity of transferring the left over fund sum of US$39.500 Million dollars into a foreign account and the said fund belongs to our deceased client. Hence, I am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared between us in the ratio of 60/40 if you agree to my business proposal.

Further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as I receive your return mail. Reply me here for security reasons, Email


Let's review some facts about this.

1. It was sent to undisclosed recipients.

2. I'm pretty sure the IRS would be just a tad bit suspicious of thirty-nine and a half million dollars just magically showing up in my bank account. I'm not paying taxes on your stolen money, buddy.

3. They are from West Africa. It seems that every time I get one of these the person/asswipe sending it resides in that area. The first one I received freaked me the hell out. The "lady" said she was from Ivory Coast. I was in high school and didn't know very much about, well, anything. My friend had to explain to me that the internet is really just a spider-web of all the personal information you've ever put on it and it wouldn't be that difficult to appeal to me by choosing the place I lived as a child. Either that or all these people are just siting in West Africa on hoards of money, and nothing would make them happier than to give me forty percent of it.

4. They just want my bank account number. Then I would have to deal with the guilt of disappointing this nice man. I am a server so I live off of cash. I only go to the bank after dropping my rent check off. The rest of the month I just kind of forget that I even have an account because I don't need to use it.

I've always wondered what would happen if I actually followed through with one of these. I wouldn't suggest trying it, and I am never going to do it either. I'm right under 100% positive that they are just trying to steal my non-existent money/identity, but if you know of any good stories related to this (you can cheat and use Google) e-mail me or leave it in the comments section. I'm always up for some entertainment.


  1. What?!? How is he offering you 60%? That's my 60%! I'm going to have to email him and tell him our deal is off. If I were you, I wouldn't trust Mr. Buru because he might turn on you too. Grrrr!

  2. I think I'm being offered the forty percent, so maybe he's just giving us both money and doesn't want any for himself. What a nice man.

  3. spidey senses are tingling and me thinks it's not a wise idea but maybe profitable!

    Or you could lead them on...

  4. I once inherited some money from my Nigerian uncle but unforunately after I paid the $1000 transfer fee my Nigerian solicitor found out that the money had been stolen by Robert Mugabe. I was unlucky, hope you have more success in your African financial dealings.

  5. @Ckrets- spidey-sense! freaking awesome.

    Kara- i only have responded to like ten or eleven of these things and i am still waiting on my fuckpile of dirty drug and blood diamond money.

    and fuck the irs. they will have to find all the money cuz it damn well won't be in my account very long.

    i will cash i all into 100's and build a matress out of it throw it in th eback of the van hit the road and then fall off the grid...

    yeah...that's the ticket!

    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

  6. I remember reading a long post on a blog somewhere about some guy who tricked one of these Nigerian scam artists. Got him to think he was a female who was in love and got him to send, er, pics of "himself" and ended up embarrassing him. Doubt the guy turned over a new leaf, but it was entertaining.

    Thanks for the blog comment. Your blog is great, I'm going to follow.


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