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Sunday, November 14, 2010

Don't Stop The Music. Just Kidding. You Made My Ears Bleed.

"What do you mean they can't fix the pitch when I sing live?"

If you can't sing, there are quite a few technological advances in the music industry to make you sound like a true star. Singing live isn't one of them.

Let's face it, 'tuning up' only gets you so far. Once you hit the live stage, there are no magical vocal fairies to tweak your performance. Short of slipping invisible earmuffs on every audience member or pulling an Ashlee Simpson, your secret is gonna come out. No amount of eye blinding costumes or off beat drunk stage dancing can make up for your off key ballad.

The only thing that rang true to the song was the line, "they've told me to stop singing." Yes, yes they did, but sadly you didn't listen.

Next time you contemplate embracing the world through a live venue as greatly viewed as SNL, don't.

Oh...80's dance streamers! I'm suddenly distracted and you now sound like an angelic choir decided to frolic on my eardrum.


  1. ypu make me laugh...and if i were not so afraid of god killing kittens i may just read, laugh and move on....oh wait i love to hear myself TypeTalk..

    this reminds me of the first bar gig i did minus the other band members, synth music, and a crappy female vocalist oh and a drummer...

    well my vocals sucked and my guitar sucked... so yeah...

  2. Did you have streamers? You can't do the dramatic finish without streamers.

  3. yeah about those streamers...yeah, im not a streamers type of dramtic finish here ...more like a bad chord and a whimper...

  4. It wasn't me, I wasn't there, I wasn't drinking ... that's my story and I'm stick... oh wait! I thought I was somewhere else *shrug*

    ahem ... Bruce sent me, it's all his fault.

    Girl, I can see what he's talking about, can't believe you don't have more followers. Read back to the post about stupid laws (When in Rome) that clinched it, you have one more follower ... us crazies need to stick together.

    Don't worry about the kitties. If He's going to go after them retroactively ... well I have an in with Bast ... just sayin'

  5. Thank you Mustang Sally. I'll try not to be mad at Bruce for sending you my way because comments really do make me smile. And do a happy dance. A snoopy-esque happy dance.

    In fact, I'm lucky my roommate has been friends with me for years so that she doesn't tell me to pack my stuff up every time I squeak with joy after reading a comment where someone says something nice about me.


Everytime you don't leave a comment, God kills a kitten. Just think about that. Also comments make me smile.

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