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Thursday, November 18, 2010

I Am NOT Thankful for Shmupplebees

Today I am angry. I got a text on my phone because for some reason Shmupplebees work schedules is now texted to me. I don't want to know as soon as the schedule goes up. I want to wait until the last possible moment to look online and see which days I am going to hate myself.

That day appears to be next Thursday. I am closing. If you didn't catch on in the last two sentences, next Thursday is Thanksgiving. That is why today, I am angry.

I looked at jobs in my area after the schedules so rudely interrupted my afternoon of doing nothing, and there is zilch. Zilch means zero. I'm sure you all know that but I feel like being a condescending asshole for the time being (please don't un-follow me for it. I need your attention. I am an attention whore. Love me.)....(You love me right?).....(Leave a comment telling me so.)


To make myself feel better I am going to begin planning out a book titled 'Shmupplebees', and the two managers I hate most of all will be named 'Sonny' and 'Mason'. (Suck it, Shmony and Shmjason)

It is going to be all about them sexually harrassing 19 year olds, texting innapropriate things, and grabbing asses. All because they have tiny penises and are insecure about the fact that they failed at everything they wanted to do in life and now have to babysit college students. I will place myself as the main character, and in the end I will become rich off of my famous blog, buy Shmupplebees, humiliate them in a way of my choice, fire them, and then burn the store to the ground. All in the eyes of fiction, however. I'm pretty sure that could put me in jail for arson if I were to actually do it.

On a lighter note, I want to thank Bruce for pimping me out on his blog not once, but twice now. Bruce, you're awesome. God thanks you for saving kittens everytime I write a blog (and I love reading your comments too).

His blog rocks as well. You should go visit him here. Plus, if you go there you get to read the really nice things he said about me, and find the 'Where's Waldo' kittens comment he slipped in.


  1. Aside from the kissing ass part of the job that I just refuse to do any more the next biggest reason I left food service was that I always had to miss the holidays. It sucks, I know and I'd be angry too. I was famous for quitting a week or two before Christmas thinking it was just a waitress job and I could get another easily enough afterwards. Wouldn't work so well in this economy though.

  2. I figure it's at least a great motivator to make my ass start applying to grad schools and make sure that I take no more than a year off.

    I will also make the cover of my book a middle finger and send signed copies to my managers.

  3. I love you, and I'm so glad I don't have to work yet :P

  4. kara-
    why the f is shummmplebees open on t-day? that is just icredistupid...

    of couse we (B and BET) luv you...cuz the world is a better place when you give luv...and even pissed you are still a humorous person...if people stopped loving people cuz they are angry...well.shit.girl id have no one left in my life...

    anyone that stops following you cuz you are angry is not needed...and a year from now you'll have so many followers that it won't matter...and then the book will be published...

    the best thing about a bad day is they eventually end...or i get shitacularly drunk and well we all know what happens pants are missing and my toenails are painted and someone has drawn lipstick pictures on my ass..ooohhh fighting visual...

    and way cool for the blog love baby...

    now get your ass back in school...

  5. And just imagine the schmucks you're going to have to deal with on thanksgiving - A bunch of weirdos and loners who have no friends or family to annoy and decide to go to Schmupplebees. Or those that bring their psychotic leprichauns to your place to save their own. You could get rich off the character biographies - Joe public LOVES lowbrow right now.

    By the way - DO burn the hellhole down. I'm sure you'll be right as long as you don't try and claim it on insurance. And you will make all the people around the world who have worked in crap restaurants for mustachioed child-molesting bastards cheer in loving support.

  6. Thanks everyone for your support (and forced love.....). I will make sure not to claim it on insurance when I burn the damn building down. I'll just call it demolition. Or maybe remodeling.


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